World's Fastest (and most dysfuctional) Relationship

Well kiddos, this past weekend I apparently had the world's fastest relationship. Within a span of 48 hours, I talked to, met, and apparently had a dramatic affair with a male model who lives in Los Angeles.
DC sent me an email on Match. (yep, I renewed.) He looked good. Sounded normal and straight to the point. After a couple emails he asked for my phone number, which I freely gave. He asked permission to call me and we talked for two hours. He liked history (shocker!), was very smart, had an opinion and was looking for a relationship. He was very concerned with "openness and not being afraid to completely share". Or as he put it, bringing the remnants of my toxic past into the sparkling white carpet of our new relationship". Um... yeah. Apparently, even though he wanted to know why I felt a certain way I wasn't allowed to reference said experience that caused me to feel a certain way. Already I was feeling constrained by judgment. He called me again that Friday night, and said he wanted to drive down and meet me that night because he felt such a connection. I met him an hour later. He was cute and had a body that literally made my teeth hurt. I made out with him for a couple minutes before he left.
The next day he called me a few times for very lengthy conversations. I text messaged Red and told her, wow he certainly has a strong personality. He's kinda pushy. Like borderline acting like a dick, pushy. He asked me to come up to Hollywood and watch the Chargers game with him. I said ok. Until he brought up making a bet if the Colts won. Then we wanted to get laid. Then changed his bet, since in his opinion we would probably do that anyway. The new bet was a very intimate thing I'd only done in two serious relationships. Again I said no. He asked why not. I said I consider that special. He argued HE'S special. By this point I'm already feeling exhausted from constantly having to deal with qualifying my feelings or opinions. For someone who was so concerned with absolute truth and being open, he was hella judgemental. Among his other "endearing" qualities was his habit of throwing around his "genius level IQ and superior intellect". Which I found confusing. How could he even think I was smart when he talked to me like a friggin' two year old?! I told him I wanted to go to bed, I had to be at the pub early to get a table for breakfast and football.
The next day, Sunday, he started text messaging toward the end of the Steelers game at about noon. I had already made up my mind I was done. He was too demanding, judgemental, and pushy. When I tried to be an adult and say I wasn't what he was looking for, he started in with a stream of text messages arguing with me.
Then the phone calls. He knew I was watching football. I went outside and said, "What?!" After yelling at me and calling me a politician (for some reason he thought this was denigrating me) for being rational and calm, I yelled back and told him no, that I was done. Then he started begging. After all this, he suddenly stops and says, "Well are you coming up tonight to watch the game?" I said no, and he hung up. I thought, cool. The Steelers are in OT and I can finish watching!
No sooner had I sat down, that he sent me a text saying I was a fraud and a failure for not opening up with instant trust to him. And that I deserved everything I got. That I was never to call him or text him again, because he would just delete it.
Um. Yeah. Don't hold your breath, guy.
So there's your lesson folks. So many times we think, oh but they're so attractive, they can't be crazy! Or that somehow hot male models are somehow like unicorns. Nope, they're potentially nuts just like other men.
Lesson learned!

The drought that became a flood, that became a drought again

So after a week of bitching that I wasn't getting any attention, I was suddenly deluged with emails and texts from all over. I was getting emails from match like crazy, and my phone was blowing up. Even Mimbo came back around with some craziness about wanting to get married. (Calling his bluff by sharing some unpleasantness quickly sent him packing, though.) In the middle of all this, my good friend JT set me up with her co worker CC. We all went out for football and it was awesome. The chemistry was immediate and he asked me out for that weekend. Our date was so fun that we made plans for this weekend. I also hung out a couple times with a Customs investigator. But, since this is me we are talking about, nothing ever works out.
On date 2 with Customs guy, he "suddenly" got a call from work and told me our date was being cut short. There was an uncomfortable staring at the check, and I again had to pay for my own dinner. That's twice in two months! Afterward he didn't even walk me to my car. This is after a terrific first date just four days before.
After my date with CC, we saw each other a couple nights later for football with the group. He was affectionate with me in front of his friends and of course there was copious amounts of kissing when he walked me to my car. We solidified our plans for this weekend. Again, since this is me, so of course the plans would never happen. And they didn't. Once again, I've been stood up and flaked on.
I told Weez last week that my new nickname for myself is the One Date Wonder. Seriously. I can't get past the first date. I do GREAT first date. I get lots of communication even after the first date, but slowly a few days after the first date the guys seem to just disappear into thin air. Poof! And once again I'm left wondering, "wtf?!"
I let my Match subscription lapse. I'm back to the drought. It kind of sucks. Dateahero.com sent me an email giving me a free month, but theres not enough people on there to make it worth my while. That's also where I met Mimbo and we all know how well that worked out.
So, tonight HF is coming over to let me de-stress, if you will. To allow me to be selfish. He's good that way. I think I need to make more time for that in the coming weeks, so I can feel more in control. Clearly my self imposed abstinence in favor of "finding something special" has done nothing by slowly drive me insane. F-that. I'm going back to my old ways. Trying to walk the more traditional side of things didn't work for me. I feel more frustrated than I've ever been. My friend MD, along with Red, are of the opinion I go on a Man-fast. I can't do it. The mind and flesh are weak. Sorry, my friends.
So, thats the past couple weeks in a nutshell. Tomorrow when I see some of you, hopefully there will be a visual change in my outlook..lol..