Dating & manners, part deux, and the joys of internet dating

Well, as some of you may know, I'm getting back out there in a serious way. No half-hearted, lackadaisical dating for me. I'm in it to win it, folks, and you know I'm as competitive as it gets. Since I'm completely done with the BS, it's sort freed me up from the morons. It's such a nice change! So here I am, on a dating site, and as a newly thought of tactical idea, asking my friends if they know of any eligible bachelors I might like.
Let's talk about internet dating since it's right there out in the open now. I think women go about it in a way different manner than men do. Yes, we still look at the pictures, but I also look at what THEY'RE looking for. Height, race, age, all those things. If I don't match what they're looking for, why bother winking or emailing? Men, however, obviously don't do this. This is evidenced by my now tired Blackberry, from the incessant pinging of men who really don't fall into my parameters. For instance, old dudes. I don't have a problem dating men up to the age of 44 or 45 but after that, nope. sorry folks. I'm only 36 and still relatively young. For some reason though, even though the age range is right at the top of my profile, they still keep winking and emailing. Along with height. I'm 5'10. No offense to the shorties out there but I need someone my own height. Ever notice how all men under 5'10 always put 5'10? Yet clearly, when I meet them, they're not. You can always tell the guy who never reads your profile, because they're email to you looks something like this:"Hey, what's up?" or "Yer hot" or "We have so much in common!" We do? What do we have in common? Ahhhh... the cut and paste email. Red and I used to crack up at this one guy who used to send me the same c&p email every week, with a different phone number. So one day he sent it to me, but with a different girl's name at the top of it. After that I HAD to respond, fate was begging me to! I responded, "Since I haven't responded to all your cut and paste emails before, you might want to do some editing before sending it to the next girl." HA! Of course, he got mad and told me I had problems with men because I wouldn't call or go out with him. I'm sure it had nothing to do with his skeevy half naked picture or that he kept highlighting his "massage" skills in his profile. Nope, nothing to do with that!
The second part of this post is by special request from BikerPuppy, since she wants everyone to share in the joy that was my date from hell on Monday night. I met the Octopus (you can see where this is going) on Match. He asked me out last Sunday night for dinner the next evening. Ever the opportunist, I agreed. He was reasonably attractive, quirky personality, and the conversation was decent. Then the check came. I did the requisite fumbling for my wallet inside my purse, expecting the "no it's ok, I got it" to come out of his mouth. Except it didn't. Out comes my wallet. Still nothing. So I say, "I guess I should have stopped at the ATM on the way, I only have $18 in cash on me besides my credit card." He takes the money from me and says, "That's fine, I'll pay for the remainder." WTF?!!!!!!!! I don't think I've ever been in this position before. What man in their right mind does this? So now I'm irritated. He suggests we walk down 2nd Street, and I needed to walk so I said ok. While pausing at the Toledo bridge, he leans over to kiss me and promptly put his hands on my ass. After grabbing his wrists and removing them, he chuckles and says, "oops! I didn't have anywhere to put my hands!" Now that we were at the opposite end of the street from where I was parked, I told him I needed to go home. It was getting late, yada yada. He walks me to my car. I didn't want him to kiss me so I turned my head and gave him a hug. He used the hug as an opportunity to attempt to feel me up, to which I promptly go in my car and left.
Two days later he asked if we were going out again or did he blow it? I said no, good luck. His reply? "You can't blame me for following my natural impulses." I didn't point out to him that serial killers felt the same, but that's besides the point.
I hope you all enjoyed my post today. I thank BikerPuppy for staring my right in the eye on Tuesday morning and telling me rather forcefully, "No! You are NOT going out with that guy again!" As if there were any question, but just to drive the point home.   =)