Yep. I'm going there.
When I came across this article yesterday I laughed my ass off. Fake Out! Well yeah, I thought about Meg Ryan's Oscar worthy fake-O in "When Harry Met Sally". Then I thought about the episode in Sex and the City where Miranda is trying to teach the cute doctor to please her. He says, "Well I've never had this problem before." She says, "You didn't know this was an issue with us until I said something." The look on his face when it dawned on him that pretty much all of his intimate encounters might not have culminated in the Big O was hilarious!
While I'm not writing this today to strike fear in the hearts of men everywhere (although part of me is grinning and rubbing my hands together giggling), it's more of an examination into why we do it. I've done it. More than once, in fact. I've done it when it was horrible and I just wanted to get it over with. Then there were times when just being with that person was wonderful, but it just wasn't going to happen for me. I didn't want the man I was with to feel insecure that it wasn't going to happen, just like the article mentions. The reasons it wasn't going to happen are a moot point. You can't tell a man that the nearness of them was enough, though. They are much more goal oriented than we are and don't fully understand that.
I'm well aware of the fact that we need to take ownership of our own sexuality. Men are not psychics. Part of the reason being in a relationship is so awesome is the trust you build. You feel safe enough to tell someone what you like. (There's also that kind of freedom in a booty call arrangement, because there's no emotional attachment, IMHO). We women can be very skittish about mentioning our likes because we are mostly taught good girls aren't supposed to talk about stuff like that. I know I was! A lot of how women learn about sex is still very Victorian in its application and understanding.
Men, realize that if your girl fakes it at one time or another isn't really your fault. She might be just trying to please you. That being said, faking it ALL the time shows a complete disconnect with your body and your psyche. Almost akin to men not being able to finish with a "real" girl after they've been addicted to porn.
End comment: be utterly and absolutely true to yourself. You can never get in trouble for that! =)
4 comments:
I'm positive that every single woman who has had sex in the world has faked it at some point!
ROTFL! Preach it, sister!
Amen! I have done it. But only because I cared so much about the guy, that just being with me was enough( and the fact that he kept saying it's had been such a long time).
Whether he was lying or not, irrelevant, I just did not want to hurt his feelings. I just wanted to be near him. That was enough for me.
Yeap, we chicks are dumb like that! :(
I meant just being with HIM... hahaha.. though just being with ME is sometimes more than enough if you know what I mean....
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