There are things in this world that drive my mother insane, and one of them is telling her (in a sarcastic woe-is-me kind of way) that I'm never getting married. It's not for lack of trying. I was in a good relationship for 6 years but he just never wanted to get married. Unfortunately, I do. So, we parted ways amicably, and still talk every so often. I've been in other relationships since, with one being pretty serious. That ended miserably with me wanting to go on a homicidal rampage after I found out what he did (cheater, got someone pregnant and got engaged to her. All in 4 weeks!). At any rate, in the year since that's happened I've often wondered if I'm really meant to be married. People who try to make me feel better often quote the divorce rate, blah, blah, blah. I'm Italian and at heart we are romantics. We don't give a crap about divorce rates, thats why a lot of Italian men have 6 ex-wives. We are in love with falling in love, no matter how it ends.
For those that know me, I'm not that optimistic. I love falling in love. Who doesn't? Getting to know a new partner, your first kiss, the first time they stay over (or vice-versa), yada yada. However, I'm definitely not an optimist. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that the area I grew up in and currently live is a poor place to find a mate. I have trust issues. When I'm not emotionally available, I still don't stay away from men but I definitely keep them at arm's length. Ok, leading to my point...
I found this article and was immediately intrigued. Don't Want Marriage or Kids. I can't help but question, is she settling for herself? Was not getting married REALLY a choice? Or rather, the way her life turned out for her was the choice in itself? I work with a couple people who are content singles with no kids, and older than my 36 years. I've never asked them why, because that would be rude. However, I can't help but wonder if that "choice" might be in progress for me. I do like being by myself and I travel alone a lot, but I still have something inside me that says "keep trying". Considering the wonderful adventure I just had in Scotland, and meeting DFTB, it makes me wonder if this isn't just a case of geography. Makes me wonder...
3 comments:
Love is weird. It comes at different times for different people.
Unfortunately, biology is biology. If a woman wants to have children, she can't wait forever.
Finding a mate, however, is something that can happen at any time! I see nothing wrong about continuing to try. :)
Love is weird. It can be painful, it is definitely irrational but I am approaching a phase in my life in which I relized, it can be tamed.
ok, the truth is, I hit a damn wall! And all it took were one marriage (no complaints about him, it just did not work) followed by two sociopaths.
I don't think you can live certain things with certain people and remain the same person. If so, YOU have issues, and YOU need to wake up.
I once read somewhere "if you are not afraid you are not paying attention".
Whether it's viewed as jadded, cynical,bitter, all of which I really don't think I am, I view it as better prepared. When I cross a street, even if I don't hear car noises, I still look both ways, it's just instinc, that just in case little voice inside of you that should never be ignored....
I'm with WeMo. The kid thing has to be a choice because of biology. I choose absolutely not! The marriage thing will happen when the right guy happens at the right time. Or at least, that's what I keep telling myself. :)
Post a Comment