Picture this: you meet a cute guy, you hook up, you figure that's all its going to be. He's not exactly dating material. But then he calls. We can go a couple different ways on this. Drinks before another hook up? Or calling at random and inconvenient times for a hook up?
What are the rules here anyway?
I've been on both sides of this fence in my single life. There's the guy who doesn't feel quite comfy of having a completely "casual" relationship, even though you are. Even though he doesn't want more than that either. I would always say no to this guy. Going for drinks or dinner puts me in the danger zone for liking him too much since I already knew he didn't want to actually date or have a girlfriend. Maybe some guys really do need to "fake date".
The other one, though. You thought you'd keep him around for playtime, but all he does is annoy you. Calls in the middle of the night asking YOU to come over to his house. Or calling you at 7am on your day off to ask YOU to come over. He's a giver, this guy.. ha ha ha. Ok, no lie. That's happening to me right now. LAPD is the king of last minute and random texts. I've told him to plan ahead because I'm too busy but he either doesn't get it or he's just not into it enough. Last weekend he got mad that I was drinking at a party with my friends (because he doesn't drink), then 5 minutes later wants to drive to where I am and fool around. I'm quite convinced he's mental.
I guess my rules here are have fun and drop what annoys you. I keep them at arms length. Not too much information sharing. The goal isn't dating or a relationship. It's just to keep the skills up until you find someone you DO want to date. Please don't judge, people. You know you've all done it, whether you called it what it is or not.
LAPD was shut down completely and forever this morning. HAAAAAAAAA
5 comments:
You complain about how men don't marry in your area, then talk about being okay dating men who are into porn and casual hookups.
You can't have it both ways.
How is this having it both ways? Have men not been doing this forever? Men hook up with chicks and tell themselves they're "dating" (aka, the go no-where relationship), but stop when they meet someone they like for more than that. Why can't women do it too? Or are you more disturbed by the fact that I said it "out loud"?
Why can we not have both?
Um actually you can have it both ways. What she's asking for her here is a little bit of clarity and respect for her time. A strictly sexual relationship is possible (we all have needs and if you don't get that then you've been living under a rock) but that doesn't mean it has to happen at 2:00 in the morning when it's convenient for just one of the parties involved.
Choosing to have a strictly sexual relationship also doesn't mean that you're not dating others in the classical sense(evaluating prospects with the hopes of moving towards a committed relationship).
Last time I checked you can do both- but then I'm a woman and am capable of multitasking.
A man who has eyes on marrying won't date women who are doing sexual only relationships - it is an instant deal breaker, at least at my socio-economic level in which "wife" has much much more attached to it than just sex and companionship (and if sex and companionship is all you want, why marry?). It is probably different at different economic levels or ages, so YMMV. But for my generation there are women who are "dating material" and there are women who are "marrying material". It isn't hard to sort them out.
Is this "fair"? I don't know, but it's reality. You can either adapt to how the world works or rail against reality and deal with the consequences, which in this case that means remaining single.
Ok Captain Dillusional, you might want to put on your thinking cap. One, you missed the entire point of my posting. The post wasn't about making a booty call into a dating relationship. The post was about booty call manners. Two, do you actually think you would KNOW if a chick you were dating was having a booty call if you didn't have a committed relationship? Or vice versa, a girl you were only having a physical relationship was also dating someone with potential but just wasn't there yet? Maybe they were sleeping with you so they wouldn't do it with the guy they really liked, therefore screwing it up.
Yeah Mitch, we are a lot more complicated than you think.
Both genders have the two column view of dating. Those who are only good for "one thing" for various reasons, and those who are more dating and relationship material. The more evolved among us know the difference pretty quickly.
Everyone else seemed to be getting what I was saying except you.
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